Short Mom Haircuts

Hayden Panettiere why did you do that? Why?

What’s the deal with Women/Moms cutting their hair short at some point? It kills me. There are so many hot women/moms who transform into bull dyke status virtually overnight. Do they think it makes them more mature, distinguished? It’s pathetic. Women/Moms who were once eye candy are now eye sores. Can I get an Amen? […]

Beach Metal Detecting

metal detector

What’s the deal with Beach Metal Detectors? You are creeping everyone out. You are annoying everyone. The beach is supposed to be stress free. You are not finding anything, even if you do, it’ll be worthless. How bored do you have to be to do this? Have you visited all the national parks? Have you […]

Parents Bragging about their Kids

Four old Catholic women sit and brag about their sons. The first Catholic woman tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic mother says, "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, he's called 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic woman says, "My incredibly handsome son is 6' 2 with broad, square shoulders, good manners and impeccable style. Whenever he walks into a room, women say, 'Oh my God!'"

“My Junior is just so smart!” It’s okay to talk about your kid up to a certain point because let’s face it, everyone is proud of their kids. Which is cool. But can we have a 3 sentence limit? Holy Crap! The only thing more boring than some guy with an office body rambling about […]

Supporting a Sports Team not from your Hometown

I'm not quite sure I get this photo but I like it.....

There is something artificial about supporting a team not from one’s hometown.  It makes me feel like my best friend got back together with an abusive boyfriend or something. How do you even start liking another team not from your hometown anyway? Maybe you are not getting enough attention at home or at school.  So one […]

Singers stating Political Beliefs Mid-Concert

The Boss cannot help himself.

  “Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.” – Albert Einstein  If by “hand on a hot stove” you mean “listen to singers politicking” then yes, Albert, you are a […]

Talking Only about Work Socially

Boring Conversation

Whats the deal with people who only talk about their jobs socially? You want to say, “Unless you wanted to be hunted for sport, you’ll stop.” They are not only killing the mood(you wet blanket you) but also raising peeps blood pressure within earshot. People want to forget about work as soon as they leave […]

Talking to Yourself

Talking to yourself

Studies have shown really intelligent people talk to themselves.  My response to that: so do homeless people. First off, you’re scaring me. Second, make a friend. Maybe if weren’t always staying in with your family on the weekends you would have actual, real-life people with which to speak. It’s okay to talk to yourself when […]

Dipping

Dipping

Dude you’re the man. You dip? That’s so cool. That smell. That bottle with your silva and black stuff in it is even cooler. Dipping is about as smart as yelling at weddings “I had her!!” Dippers are not real men anyway. Why not? Real men have one thing on their minds and do everything […]

Out of the Blue Charity Emails

Charity Emails

I love how  people feel like it’s okay to email us after complete 7 year radio silence just because they can. Most don’t even bother to personalize their email. “Hey Guys” or “Hello Everyone” are my favorites. Some don’t even use bcc. Wow. Great. Now I get to hear everyone’s comments. Even Dutch, the stale […]

A Blowing of the Nose at the Dinner Table

Elaine

You are at a nice restaurant eating a delicious meal enjoying yourself when someone decides to put a damper on the mood by blowing their nose. I’m not talking about discretely turning their head and taking care of business. I’m talking about a real head clearer folks, in the cloth napkin, while simultaneously making eye contact with […]

Out of Control Pets

Doggie

I cannot stand when people buy a pet just because it looks cute. This leads to unnecessary problems people! How many times have you seen a middle-aged person with a Rottweiler(any other dominant breed i.e. Pinscher, German Shepherd, Staffordshire Terrier etc.)? Holy Bejesus! There is no way this person can keep up with this type of […]

Whistling

Whistling

Anybody else feel it is a total violation when they hear someone whistling (especially for no reason)? It was cool when we first learned how to whistle, right? Say at 5 or 6(which was totally fine because you were a kid). Then, as you got older, hopefully you realized whistling is a total violation. If […]

Constantly Getting Interrupted

Simon Cowell

Have you ever been in a conversation where the other person just can’t wait to jump in and interrupt you. A lady I know does this all the time. It drives me freaking crazy! Really?? You are going to keep interrupting me, all night?   Know anybody like this?? She is constantly reloading while you are talking. […]