Meet and Greets

Meet and Greets stink

Webster defines as: a reception at which a public figure (as a politician or rock star) socializes with press members and other guests. Whereas we all really know what a Meet and Greet means. An otherwise good night/time ruined by a forced gathering of people (you don’t know and/or like very much). My friends are famous […]

Movie/TV Show Gun Fights

Rigss is a seer.

The patented dive and shoot by the protagonist that somehow takes down the bad guys. Shooting a gun is not easy standing still. Take it from a guy who found this out skeet shooting on his friend’s bachy. Conversations during gun fights, like people want to decide what they are doing for lunch later that day, much less […]

The Doctor’s Office

Bob, everything looks good, but your junk looked small..

Waiting. Always having to wait. For once I would like to have the doctor come into the room then take a call. “Oh sorry Doc didn’t see you there. Don’t worry. I’ll be off in 20.” While freezing your balls off. Shivering in your boxers. Waiting. Creeped out by the Crinkly paper you have to sit on. […]

Friends who Post on Social Media but don’t Often Respond to Texts

You are so cool

Hmmmm…so you have time to post a picture about the 5th day in a row you ate cereal (that’s exciting) and comment on your own picture (pathetic) that you “really like Cheerios.” But you don’t have 5 seconds to send a text back to your friend you’ve known since high school or even worse grade school? Sweet […]

Clanking of the Fork on Your Teeth while Eating

Fork Biting

You do not need to bite the fork. Digesting a fork is impossible anyway, so why are you pretending it’s chicken? After a long day of work, this is the last thing you want to hear (besides your wife telling you a whole bunch of stuff has to be done around the house, and you are the one […]

Flight Attendants

Wow thanks for the flat soda.

6 Things that annoy me about Flight Attendants They are not hot-who ever started that misconception? Informing us how to use a seat belt Informing us how to use a floatation device- as if we could actually use them after the plane crashes Informing us where the exit rows are like we are going to line […]

Short Mom Haircuts

Hayden Panettiere why did you do that? Why?

What’s the deal with Women/Moms cutting their hair short at some point? It kills me. There are so many hot women/moms who transform into bull dyke status virtually overnight. Do they think it makes them more mature, distinguished? It’s pathetic. Women/Moms who were once eye candy are now eye sores. Can I get an Amen? […]

Beach Metal Detecting

metal detector

What’s the deal with Beach Metal Detectors? You are creeping everyone out. You are annoying everyone. The beach is supposed to be stress free. You are not finding anything, even if you do, it’ll be worthless. How bored do you have to be to do this? Have you visited all the national parks? Have you […]

Wedding Dance Circles

Sweet moves

What’s the deal with wedding dance circles? It’s awkward, time freezes, everyone stares nervously at each other until invariably the crappy drunk dancer plunges himself into the middle. Few good dancers end up at weddings but that doesn’t stop someone’s drunk uncle from making a fool out of himself.  

Wobbly Tables

Throw me some of those cardboard guys...

What’s the deal with wobbly tables at restaurants? Like chivalry is there a shortage of those cardboard wedges too? My blood pressure cannot go down until fixed (especially at a restaurant) They don’t pay the waiter enough to care, on the other hand if the waiter wants a good tip they will. Can I get an AMEN?  

NHL Trophy Names

Stanley Cup

  What’s the deal with all the names for the trophies in hockey? Really?? The James Morris Award? Who is James Morris? Nobody knows what the hell the NHL awards represent, even former hockey players don’t know what all the awards mean. Besides, the NHL isn’t that popular to begin with, so how would the average […]

Parents Bragging about their Kids

Four old Catholic women sit and brag about their sons. The first Catholic woman tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic mother says, "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, he's called 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic woman says, "My incredibly handsome son is 6' 2 with broad, square shoulders, good manners and impeccable style. Whenever he walks into a room, women say, 'Oh my God!'"

“My Junior is just so smart!” It’s okay to talk about your kid up to a certain point because let’s face it, everyone is proud of their kids. Which is cool. But can we have a 3 sentence limit? Holy Crap! The only thing more boring than some guy with an office body rambling about […]

Supporting a Sports Team not from your Hometown

I'm not quite sure I get this photo but I like it.....

There is something artificial about supporting a team not from one’s hometown.  It makes me feel like my best friend got back together with an abusive boyfriend or something. How do you even start liking another team not from your hometown anyway? Maybe you are not getting enough attention at home or at school.  So one […]

Singers stating Political Beliefs Mid-Concert

The Boss cannot help himself.

  “Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That’s relativity.” – Albert Einstein  If by “hand on a hot stove” you mean “listen to singers politicking” then yes, Albert, you are a […]

The Taming of Beer Foam with Nose Grease

Nose Grease Trick

Here’s the Scene: You’re at a party (just being college) having a great time, drinking a fresh one with your boys, when some D-Bag comes up and ruins your drink. Really? You just swiped your nose sweat/grease and stuck it into my beer? Let me drop some knowledge on you sir, this makes about as […]

Talking Only about Work Socially

Boring Conversation

Whats the deal with people who only talk about their jobs socially? You want to say, “Unless you wanted to be hunted for sport, you’ll stop.” They are not only killing the mood(you wet blanket you) but also raising peeps blood pressure within earshot. People want to forget about work as soon as they leave […]

Talking to Yourself

Talking to yourself

Studies have shown really intelligent people talk to themselves.  My response to that: so do homeless people. First off, you’re scaring me. Second, make a friend. Maybe if weren’t always staying in with your family on the weekends you would have actual, real-life people with which to speak. It’s okay to talk to yourself when […]



Dude you’re the man. You dip? That’s so cool. That smell. That bottle with your silva and black stuff in it is even cooler. Dipping is about as smart as yelling at weddings “I had her!!” Dippers are not real men anyway. Why not? Real men have one thing on their minds and do everything […]

Kissing Family Members on the Lips

Kissing Family Members

After a certain age(I get it. If it’s a younger child that’s fine), doesn’t it get creepy to continue to kiss your family members on the lips? I’m sorry but outside of a sexual relationship I don’t feel like kissing anybody, most especially not a family member. This is creepy. Especially when I see 20 […]

Out of the Blue Charity Emails

Charity Emails

I love how  people feel like it’s okay to email us after complete 7 year radio silence just because they can. Most don’t even bother to personalize their email. “Hey Guys” or “Hello Everyone” are my favorites. Some don’t even use bcc. Wow. Great. Now I get to hear everyone’s comments. Even Dutch, the stale […]

A Blowing of the Nose at the Dinner Table


You are at a nice restaurant eating a delicious meal enjoying yourself when someone decides to put a damper on the mood by blowing their nose. I’m not talking about discretely turning their head and taking care of business. I’m talking about a real head clearer folks, in the cloth napkin, while simultaneously making eye contact with […]

Out of Control Pets


I cannot stand when people buy a pet just because it looks cute. This leads to unnecessary problems people! How many times have you seen a middle-aged person with a Rottweiler(any other dominant breed i.e. Pinscher, German Shepherd, Staffordshire Terrier etc.)? Holy Bejesus! There is no way this person can keep up with this type of […]



Anybody else feel it is a total violation when they hear someone whistling (especially for no reason)? It was cool when we first learned how to whistle, right? Say at 5 or 6(which was totally fine because you were a kid). Then, as you got older, hopefully you realized whistling is a total violation. If […]

Constantly Getting Interrupted

Simon Cowell

Have you ever been in a conversation where the other person just can’t wait to jump in and interrupt you. A lady I know does this all the time. It drives me freaking crazy! Really?? You are going to keep interrupting me, all night?   Know anybody like this?? She is constantly reloading while you are talking. […]

One Uppers

One Uppers - Yikes!!

We have all been there. You’re at a party with your friends having a good time.  You meet some guy. He seems cool at first. You start telling a story but immediately he cuts you off and says, “Oh that’s nothing listen to this…..” Don’t be that guy. Really guy? Everything I am going to […]

People Cutting You Off, then Driving Reaaaallllllllll Slowly

In the Words of Mark Twian, "They see me slowin, they hatin"

Is it just me or are Pennsylvania drivers even worse than Florida drivers in terms of cutting you off then driving like they have a flat tire? I’m driving by myself last week on 76 heading to the city belting out Rihana lyrics until my throat hurts(standard) when some diaper wearing dude veers into my […]

Shhhhh!! My Show is On!

Dr. Evil

I think it’s only fair that I let someone else write about their pet peeves, mainly because my fiance BEGGED me if she could “rip me to shreds” for lack of better words. So here she is…. give her some pity laughs will ya? Talking during movies or tv shows… you know someone who does […]